More on Disentangling Power & Sense of Self
Building off of yesterday's insights (read this if you haven't), today, I want to clarify that there are two kinds of power. The power that can be given or taken and power that is inherently yours.
The one that is inherently yours is your power to create and manifest. That is yours. It lives within you, and you always have it to use. That being said, your ability to use it can be clouded by your disconnect to its very presence.
But then there is the power created through certainty, agency, and action.
Our personal power shows up as our ability to make choices, to be responsible for our choices, etc.
When we talk about standing in our power or giving up our power, this is the power we are speaking of - our agency, our certainty, our ability to steer our course.
An example of giving up our power is giving our power (choice, decision) to a doctor. We release our role in the decisions about our health and well-being - because they know more, because it's easier, because we are afraid - these are just a few reasons.
There are lessons to learn and healing to be done here - when and why do you give up your power? What pictures, programming, or core wounds lend to this? That is where you can focus your work.
Contrast that with this:
When someone makes us feel small, do we give up our power? I don't think so. We give up or give over a piece of ourselves, our essence. The same questions apply: why do you do it? What pictures, programming, or core wounds lead you to shrink?
What is coming into focus is that we comingle these two pieces, power and sense of self, and what I know is whenever energies are comingled, it is very hard, if not impossible, to gain clarity, do the healing that needs to be done, and move forward with growth.
It is important to begin to separate these two pieces.
When we see our personal power as separate from our sense of self, it allows us to focus on them individually. What impacts our personal power may be similar to what impacts our sense of self or not. But by separating these two things that challenge us, we can gain greater insight into what is underneath them.
Lessons and Healing Behind Power & Sense of Self
Here are a few things that you may be working on with each:
Giving Up Sense of Self (Diminishing Identity & Authenticity)
This is about abandoning or suppressing one’s true nature out of fear, conditioning, or external pressure. It’s not just uncertainty about identity; it can also be an active or passive denial of self-expression.
Key Dynamics Leading to a Loss of Self:
Fear of Repercussions for Being Authentic
Knowing who you are but feeling unsafe about expressing it.
Suppressing true beliefs, emotions, or desires to avoid judgment, rejection, or punishment.
Over-Identification with External Roles
Losing oneself in roles like parent, spouse, leader, healer, or caregiver.
Becoming what others need rather than what feels true.
Emotional & Psychological Fragmentation
Compartmentalizing or hiding parts of the self due to past wounds or conditioning.
Feeling disconnected from joy, passion, or individuality.
Chronic Adaptation & Shape-Shifting
Changing personality, behavior, or interests depending on the environment.
Being a “chameleon” to maintain connection but never feeling truly seen.
Internalized Oppression & Conditioning
Carrying societal, cultural, or familial narratives that suppress individuality.
Feeling obligated to conform to prescribed identities.
Fear of Taking Up Space
Shrinking, silencing, or minimizing oneself to accommodate others.
Believing that their authentic self is “too much” or “not enough.”
Loss of Inner Connection & Voice
Feeling emotionally numb or disconnected from what they truly want.
Not trusting their own inner guidance or knowing.
Giving Up Personal Power (Relinquishing Autonomy & Authority Over One’s Life)
This is about not standing in one’s ability to act, decide, or influence one’s own experience—even if they have a strong sense of who they are.
Key Dynamics Leading to a Loss of Power:
Avoidance of Responsibility
Letting others dictate their choices to escape pressure, risk, or blame.
Preferring to “go with the flow” rather than actively shaping their life.
Subconscious Permission for Others to Lead
Defaulting to stronger personalities or authority figures.
Allowing others to determine what’s best, even when it contradicts their truth.
Fear of Making the ‘Wrong’ Choice
Chronic indecision or over-analysis leads to inaction.
Looking for guarantees before taking action.
Energetic Submission
Absorbing other people’s willpower and intentions instead of asserting their own.
Feeling powerless in the presence of dominant energy.
Sacrificing Choice for Harmony
Not speaking up to avoid rocking the boat.
Going along with decisions they don’t agree with to maintain peace.
Dependence on External Validation or Direction
Needing reassurance before making choices.
Seeking permission instead of self-authority.
Lack of Willingness to Disrupt Patterns
Recognizing personal power but resisting change.
Preferring the familiarity of disempowerment over the discomfort of growth.
Refined Core Difference:
Giving Up Sense of Self = "I can’t be who I am." (Fear, suppression, fragmentation of identity)
Giving Up Personal Power = "I can’t act on my own behalf." (Avoidance, submission, external reliance)
The key distinction is that losing self is about core identity while losing power is about agency—one is about who you are, and the other is about inner sovereignty and command of self.
How to Recognize These Dynamics
Signs of Giving Away Personal Power (Agency) | Signs of Giving Away Sense of Self (Soul Essence or Intrinsic Self) |
You avoid making decisions and let others choose for you. | You feel like you don’t know who you truly are. |
You feel powerless in relationships, work, or life situations. | You feel disconnected, empty, or like something is "missing." |
You seek external validation before taking action. | You struggle to feel a deep sense of belonging within yourself. |
You silence yourself to avoid conflict. | You shapeshift into different identities depending on the situation. |
You feel trapped in cycles of self-doubt and hesitation. | You don’t recognize yourself in your own life. |
You feel energetically drained after being around certain people. | You’ve lost connection with what brings you joy or meaning. |
You procrastinate or hesitate even when you know what you want. | You feel like you are living someone else’s version of your life. |
Where the Two Overlap
There are times when people lose both power and sense of self simultaneously. This often happens when:
They subconsciously adopt someone else's beliefs, desires, or identity.
They stay in environments where they are not fully seen or honored.
They have a history of manipulation, gaslighting, or trauma that caused them to both doubt their choices (power loss) and lose sight of who they are (essence loss).
When both are lost, the person may feel like:
"I don't know who I am, AND I feel powerless to change my life."
"I don’t trust my choices, and I don’t even know what I truly want."
"I feel invisible, stuck, and directionless."
How to Begin Reclaiming Each One (Through Energetic Awareness & Clearing)
To Reclaim Personal Power (Agency): | To Reclaim Soul Essence (Intrinsic Self): |
Explore why you hesitate to say "no"—where did this pattern start, and what energy holds it in place? | Identify the moments where you abandoned parts of yourself—what caused you to disconnect? |
Look at where and why you give your power away—what beliefs or experiences make you feel incapable of acting? | Feel into where you are living based on expectation rather than truth—what is shaping your identity that isn't yours? |
Notice where your energy is entangled with others—are you carrying someone else's desires or choices instead of your own? | Trace back the first time you felt unseen or invalidated—what parts of you got left behind? |
Recognize the emotions that arise when you try to assert yourself—what fear, guilt, or obligation is blocking your power? | Ask: “Where do I feel like I don’t belong—to myself, my life, my truth?” What caused that disconnection? |
Instead of forcing action, look at your energetic contracts with people or situations—what agreements need to be released? | Tune into what feels missing—what part of you is calling to return home, and what’s preventing that reunion? |
It’s time to reclaim what was never meant to be lost. Whether you’ve been feeling disconnected from your true Essence or struggling to act from your own authority, the root cause can be seen, understood, and cleared.
Through deep, energetic work, we uncover what’s holding you back—not just on the surface but at the level where real transformation happens.
If you're ready to step into full alignment with yourself, book a session or join Prism, my transformational group program, where we do this work together.
Your truth, your power, and your next evolution are waiting. Are you ready to step into them?
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