Learn Your Own Lessons, Let Others Learn Theirs. Here’s Why.

Let’s explore one of my top Spiritual tenets: Learn Your Own Lessons. Let Others Learn Theirs.

Although it sounds simple, one of the most challenging Spiritual lessons for us to learn is to learn your own lessons. We are so used to giving up our power and equally used to jumping in and offering our two-cents. Even worse, our friends and family often invite us to step in and do their work for them.

Before we dive into the ‘why we shouldn’t,’ we need to understand our Spiritual Journey, which holds the answer to, ‘why are we here?’ and within that answer are the reasons why you should learn your life lessons.

Why are we here?

As with all of this work, the answer is super simple. We are here to learn, heal, and grow as both individual beings and as a Collective. The challenge is to see if we can get ourselves to a place of clarity and alignment, in which we can live fully as Spirit with a body. When we can do that, we are fully empowered. Since living fully as Spirit comes with so much power we aren’t just handed the power. At the Spirit level, we set up an obstacle course. If you can complete the course, you have demonstrated that you can handle the power and, in turn, you get the power.

At the core of this obstacle course are the three Core Life Lessons.

• Learn to validate yourself

• Learn to live in your Truth

• Learn to own your Power

All simple, but learning these Core Life Lessons is wrapped in layers and layers of unlearning and of deep healing.

Which leads us to Learn Your Own Life Lessons. Let Others Learn Theirs.

Why It’s Important To Learn Your Own Life Lessons.

That Spiritual Obstacle course we just explored, it’s at the heart of why it’s important to learn your own life lessons.

Picture this, if you will.

At the Spirit level, you carefully set up a lesson for yourself to learn. It’s integral to your own healing and growth. Once you learn it you move to the next level of conscious awareness and access new tools and greater abilities to use your Spirit-driven power. As you approach the moment in which you are going to learn this lesson, your best friend Jean stops by, sees you struggling, swoops in, and learns the lesson for you. She takes your challenge away, she does the work for you. You don’t learn the lesson.

Now what?

You have to start all over. Although having someone do your work for you may seem easier in the moment, we have to do extra work to set up things again so that we can learn that lesson. If we don’t learn it, we don’t move forward in our healing and growth and we don’t get the next set of tools, or reach the next level of awareness.

It’s pretty simple. You do your work. Let others do theirs. Yet, it’s not that simple because THIS is one of our greatest lessons and it’s wrapped up in all sorts of learning, healing and growing.

Why Do We Do It?

Let me share a few reasons why you may get in someone else’s business, and why you may unconsciously let them get in yours, and guess what, they are all connected to YOU learning your core life lessons.

But there’s good news! As you’ll see, even when you are missing an opportunity to learn, you are still working on learning.

We feel good when we help someone	​A form of external validation. Wrapped in learning to validate yourself.
We think we know better than they do	An ego-based thought that derives power externally (rather than developing personal power.
We think they know more than we do	You give up your power here. Rooted in both learning to validate yourself and own your own power.
We just want to be supported	You give up your power here too. Rooted in both learning to validate yourself and own your own power.
Someone caring about us means we are worthy (Victim dynamic)	Rooted in learning to validate yourself, owning your Truth, and standing in your power.
​It feels good when someone wants to help.	You give up your power here. Rooted in learning to validate yourself, owning your Truth, and standing in your power.
We don’t trust ourselves.	Rooted in learning to validate yourself, owning your Truth, and standing in your power.
We are afraid of making the wrong choice.	Rooted in learning to validate yourself, owning your Truth, and standing in your power.
We are impatient with someone else’s growth so we step in.	Learning to let someone learn. Rooted in learning to validate yourself, owning your Truth, and standing in your power.
We think our way is the only way.	Learning that we each have our own truths. Rooted in learning to validate yourself, owning your Truth, and standing in your power.

These are just a few examples of what we are working with regards to learning our own lessons. If you are interested in digging more deeply into this, I recommend reading my book, Awaken & Grow: A Practical Guide For Your Spiritual Journey, (affiliate link) which offers an overview of our full learning, healing, and growing process.

What To Do Instead

For Yourself

• Be aware of seeking the approval of others and stop yourself.

• Celebrate your successes.

• Celebrate who you are – even if there are things you don’t like. We are always a work in progress and we can always celebrate ourselves in the moment.

• Be conscious of when you are giving your power away to someone for whatever they are offering in return.

With Others

• Let people learn their own lessons.

• Ask if they want your support, don’t just jump right in.

• If they do, ask questions that help them find their own answers. Don’t do the work for them.

• Honor the path someone is on, even if it seems hard. It’s their path.

• Don’t be judgmental of someone’s life, choices, challenges.

• Don’t be critical of someone’s life, choices, challenges

These are just a few ways to learn your own life lessons and let others learn theirs.

The Deeper Work

There is much deeper work here to do. I wrote this piece to get you thinking and gaining awareness when it comes to the challenges we encounter in our lives. As you step into Conscious Awareness, you will start to see how your lessons play out in your life and recognize what it is that you are trying to learn. Once you have this awareness, the next step is doing the healing work. The healing work happens in your daily practice and by acquiring energy tools that help you go beyond a mental body understanding of your Core Life Lessons.

If going deeper interests you, check out The Key, as a great place to start.

If you have questions or comments, leave them below or join my FB Group: Awaken & Grow. I do regular Ask Me (Almost) Anything in the group where you can ask your questions.

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